Forget Love Languages! Let’s Talk Love Listening

Forget Love Languages! Let's Talk Love Listening
loving couple sitting on sofa in cozy living room

( – Mastering the language of love is a mystery the world has yet to figure out. Or has it already? What if it was always about the art of listening, rather than talking? We want to say the right things, but we may forget or say the wrong things when nervous.

There may be an easy solution: just listen. Read more about learning how to listen with love in mind.

Ask the Right Questions

To truly understand love, we must know where our partners are coming from. Listening to their needs is critical. We can start by asking the right questions.

Instead of an informal, routine question like “How’s it going?” try digging a little deeper. “How do you want to celebrate your birthday this year?” or “What goals are you working toward accomplishing this year?” Our attention might make our partners feel more valued and attentive to what we have to say, in turn.

Be Interested, Not Interesting

We often feel we need to be interesting or more appealing to our partner. But in reality, they probably want to feel needed and desired. To that end, it’s important to focus our interest on our partners. Rather than being the attention seekers, we need to be the attention givers, asking them about their childhoods or what they wanted to be when they grew up. When we focus attention on our partners, we show them that we care.

Get Rid of Distractions

Whispering sweet nothings may add some spark to anyone’s love life, but hanging on every word they say is more intimate. To be most effective, we must rid ourselves of distractions. To create the best listening environment, create a quiet space. Clear away cell phones, turn off TVs and block other things that could interfere with the ability to focus and listen.

Break Free of Hidden Agendas

If we want something from our significant other or have a hidden agenda, it’s essential to set that aside. This technique is about listening and validation. Avoid negativity, offering advice or problem-solving. We can be supportive, ask questions, and ask if we can help and how.

They may not even be searching for answers, just someone to listen. They may already have the answers within them. Hearing that we are supportive, trusting and have no ulterior motives may increase love and trust in the relationship.

Relationships are sometimes complex. If they are too easy, we may overlook something. If they are too hard, we may have trouble adjusting to the changing needs properly. Finding ways to listen to each other may be the best path to a worthwhile, lasting relationship. Why wait? Give it a try right now.

~Here’s to Your Healthy Ascension

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