What to Do When a Narcissist Ruins the Holidays

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What to Do When a Narcissist Ruins the Holidays

(AscendHealthy.com) – ‘Tis the season for holiday festivities. From intimate family gatherings to quaint office parties, there always seems to be that one Grinch who saps the fun out of the day. Not only do they play the victim, they tear down others along the way. Can you spot someone with a narcissistic personality? Read ahead and find them out before they ruin your holiday.


Don’t Allow a Narcissist to Sabotage the Holidays.

Don’t Take Their Words Personally

A narcissist is not shy. They love to talk themselves up and be the life of the party. They can be deceptively charming and seem larger-than-life. The problem is, they often walk all over others to build themselves up.

Someone with this personality disorder craves attention and will often play victim to gain recognition. When someone feels sorry for them or praises them, their power is engaged.

Never reward their poor behavior. Narcissists may attempt to cut their perceived “persecutors” down to size or start blaming others for their mistakes. These accusatory words hurt, but don’t take them to heart.

Reverse The Role

The first response when someone is being crude and belittling is to hand them a dose of their own medicine. Reacting negatively is not a good option, however. It only gives the narcissist a further chance to play the victim. They will attempt to switch roles on you and make you appear to be the one who is attacking them. They thrive on drama and confrontation.

Don’t engage in their negativity. Instead, the best thing you can do is take a deep breath and kill them with kindness. You steal their thunder, diffuse the situation and provide a perfect example for those around you. Don’t let them ruin your night with loved ones and friends.

Create an Exit Plan

A gleam of light in the darkness of the world is the upcoming holiday party. All your loved ones will be there, including Aunt “Karen.” Remember her? She’s had years of experience being the center of attention, along with bashing and degrading Uncle “Ken” at events like this.

If he isn’t next to her to take the brunt of her cut-downs and sarcastic insults, you might be next in line.

Set healthy boundaries and have an exit plan. Know your line ahead of time — having to leave for another party or a slight emergency at home. Prep your escape plan and avoid confrontation.

Remember Who They Are

At the end of the day, a narcissist will be the last person to admit they have a mental health problem. Narcissistic personality disorder is a condition that may affect the individual and those around them negatively. Symptoms include:

  • Needing constant attention and admiration.
  • Displaying arrogant, boastful mannerisms.
  • Taking advantage of others.
  • Exaggerating talents and achievements.
  • Living in a fantasy construct that may not reflect reality.
  • Belittling or hurting others.

These are common signs a narcissist may display. Remember, it’s their mental illness contributing to their behavior. Counseling and treatment through a qualified mental health professional may help.

As the year ends, most of us reflect on the many tribulations the world has faced. A cup of good cheer and unity is all that many of us ask for. Don’t let a special holiday moment be sabotaged by a narcissist. If confrontation occurs, take a deep breath and be the bigger person. Have a game plan going in, and deal with the situation using an open mind and heart.

~Here’s to Your Healthy Ascension

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