(AscendHealthy.com) – Ahh, new love. It can sweep us off our feet and leave us with our heads in the clouds. While it feels heavenly, it can mask underlying issues like mental abuse tactics. Could the other person have an underlying agenda? Unfortunately, sometimes they do. Here are some signs that could indicate a partner is love-bombing us.
1. They Want Commitment Now
The basis behind love bombing is to win over a partner’s affection so that the love bomber can meet a goal of their own. It’s the ultimate control game. It often starts with wanting a major commitment right away.
They might want exclusivity right away. They might propose, even though the relationship has only been going on for a very short time. Then the love bomber wants to move in. A beautiful ring and the promise of a lavish wedding might be tough to turn down. But for them, it’s all about getting one step closer to attaining their goal — manipulating their partner.
2. They Convince You That You’re Soulmates
A love bomber will convince their significant other that they are destined to be together, so there’s no reason to take things slow. Their words portray that this love is meant to be, heaven-sent. This may result in moving in together right away or sharing bank accounts. These are ways the other person can master their control.
3. They Smother You
Love bombers call and text all day long. They spend every waking moment by their significant other’s side or on their phone. The person on the receiving end has no personal time. After a while, it can be too much. The love bomber is practicing the art of control.
Feeling smothered in a relationship? If so, put a stop to it right away. If the other person doesn’t understand, it’s time to re-evaluate the relationship.
4. They Demand All of Your Attention
When our partner gets upset when we’re on the phone or spending time with a friend, it can be a red flag. This is a form of control love bombers use to convince their significant others to give them all their time. We should never feel anxious or nervous about our partner’s next demand or complaint. Spending all our time placating a partner is a huge red flag.
5. They Shower You With Gifts
Fresh flowers or a box of chocolates are lovely romantic gestures any person would love to receive every once in a while. But when it occurs daily, or the gifts turn into expensive things, such as a new car, vacation or jewelry, it could be a love bomb.
This isn’t to say that all gift-giving is bad. Sometimes, even the most expensive or lavish gifts may come from the heart with no strings attached. But a love bomber will use pricey gifts as a toxic measure to manipulate and constantly remind their partners of all they have done for them. This may lead to feelings of pressure and obligation.
Steps to Take to Make It Stop
When we feel we are being manipulated through love-bombing, there are steps we can take to change the situation. These include:
- Talk to the love bomber. If it’s early in the relationship and things feel like they are going too quickly, consider talking with a significant other and setting some boundaries. The goal is to feel completely comfortable in the relationship. If a partner can’t respect boundaries, consider other steps.
- Set up a support system. A trusted friend or family member, a therapist, or a support group recommended by a therapist might make it easier to talk about the situation and see it more clearly. Talking with someone who has been love-bombed may help because they can provide insights.
- Make and follow an exit plan. When a romantic partner won’t respect boundaries, manipulates, gaslight, or otherwise tries to be controlling, it’s time to dump the relationship and cut off contact. It might not be easy, but it will help prevent a lot more abuse and pain in the long run.
Gifts, compliments, finding your soulmate — These things can actually feel like hitting the jackpot for some people. Yet, it may indicate low self-esteem or codependency issues. Just beware: it’s also the starting point for a master manipulator. Love bombing is the ultimate control trick. This tactic, which is commonly used by narcissists, can drain us of our happiness. Consider seeing a therapist if signs of love bombing are present in your relationship.
~Here’s to Your Healthy Ascension
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