(AscendHealthy)- How we look is only a small part of what makes us attractive to other people. Attractiveness is more about attitude than anything else. But what makes up an attractive attitude? We’re here to explore just that.
We all know someone who isn’t “beautiful” in the classical sense, or by media standards, yet they draw people in like moths to a flame. What is it about these people that makes them popular?
Great Body Posture
Turns out our mothers were right when they told us to sit up straight and walk with our heads up high. People often use posture and other body-language cues to create their first impressions of another person. People who cross their arms and legs come off as defensive or closed off. An open stance is viewed as more welcoming and encourages people to approach and start a conversation.
An authentic smile, or appropriate facial expression, shows we’re paying attention when people talk to us. Firm but non-aggressive handshakes show we are present in the moment and engaged in the situation.
Active Listening Skills
People need to feel as though what they are saying is being heard and appreciated. Speakers tend to move their eyes around, but as listeners, we should maintain steady eye contact. It takes practice to learn to actively listen to a person without focusing instead on what we want to say next or how we’ll steer the conversation. Having a follow-up question or comment proves we are paying attention and have respect for what others are saying, even when we don’t necessarily agree.
Don’t Make Assumptions
It’s so easy to make an assumption about someone the second our eyes set on them. Sometimes a person’s nonverbal cues send the wrong message. For example, that person yawning in the corner might be a new sleep-deprived parent, not bored.
It’s not uncommon for great people to make bad first impressions, especially if they are shy or anxious. Some people simply have odd quirks or habits that make them seem disinterested when they are otherwise engaged and caring. The only way to find out if that person’s first impression was misleading is to make an introduction and start engaging.
Confidence Without Cockiness
Everyone loves a winner and people will gravitate toward those they think have interesting opinions or specific knowledge on a subject. The key here is to sound knowledgeable without sounding like a braggart. Speaking with condescension, or with an obvious ego problem, will drive people away in droves. It’s one thing to know a subject, but it’s another to be completely unreceptive to other people’s opinions when in conversation.
While some people do notice physical attractiveness, it’s important to pay more attention to a person’s attitude. Exuding confidence, having a welcoming demeanor, and showing genuine interest in others will ultimately make you an incredibly attractive person — inside and out.
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